Our “Should-y” Lives

We are inundated with shoulds.

Especially with social media, we see people out there crushing it, and we think.

“Oof I should really…
-Start running
-Cook 3 high-protein meals every day,
-Buy that gadget
-Practice my instrument,
-Book a trip.
-Join a gym
-Make more friends.
-Write a play.
-Learn another language.
-Participate in activism.
-Read that book
-Sign up for that class
-Apply for a new job
-Start a business.”
…..The list goes on

I get it- my own list of shoulds is endless.

(Ps- the people you follow and admire also have their own lists of “shoulds.” No one is walking around all day, every day saying, “I am crushing it.” And no one is doing ALL of these things!!! If you see someone succeeding at 1 or 2 it’s because that is what they’re focusing on!)

(And PSS-Let’s not forget that ‘should-ing’ yourself benefits capitalism because it keeps you glued to social media and buying things $$$….I digress…)

But friends, our ‘shoulds’ outweigh our resources. 

We will never have enough time, money, energy, or attention to reach all these “shoulds” and certainly not at the same time.

Let’s acknowledge and accept that you cannot habit-build your way into becoming perfect.

No matter how locked in your habits are, you will still encounter stress, discomfort, and pain…I promise.

I believe the purpose of habit building is to ensure that the stuff that matters most to us is getting the most attention.

All of the things listed above are amazing! But they can’t all matter the same amount to you. 

So let’s first de-shame-ify by replacing our “shoulds” with “coulds.”

You could become a runner, an activist, or a business owner.   

Habit formation and behavior change take time, and life is short!
So if we say we’d like to build a habit around something— if we’re committing our precious time, energy, and attention to this — let’s be sure it indeed aligns with our values, our joys, and allows us to be of service to the world we envision for the future. (That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?)