“You Guys…I Finally Got My Sh*t Together!”

…Said no one…ever (not truthfully at least)

Yet, we hear people say:
“Ugh, I just need to get my shit together.” 
All the time!!

So why do we think this is attainable??

Some of this say this with the same casual-ness like “I just have to go to the grocery store.” Like it’s something we could do in an afternoon.

It’s not. It’s not an item on a to-do list, and it isn’t a strategy.

When I catch myself saying this, or I catch my clients saying this, here is the quickie process to get some clarity for what their next actual actionable steps might be:

First, we practice radical acceptance.

We will never ever have our shit fully together. Period.

(pause to breathe here)

This ‘balance’ that we are all seeking is not like a scale where once we find the correct counterweight, that scale will just stay still and stabilized for the foreseeable future.
Our lives, our bodies, our circumstances, our needs, our expectations, our obligations, our goals…they are all ever-changing factors.

So instead of a scale, think of ‘balance” like a gymnast on a beam.
To be balanced is to be constantly seeking balance, constantly making teeny tiny adjustments to hold on to center as long as possible.
It’s an active, constant fight, and it will never be complete or easy. But it can get easier with practice.

The same is true of our “shit.” We will never have it totally together. Certainly not for an extended period of time.

How can we make peace with the truth that this will never be checked off our to-do list without giving up completely?

Because we still want to make some improvements, yes? 

Next, dentify the 3-1’s:

1. What is one organizing principle that already exists in your life?
   What’s something that already automatically occurs mostly every day in mostly the same time/place? This could be: I walk my dog in the morning. I take my kid to school. I show up to my nine-to-five job. I put my contacts in first thing in the morning. 
   

2. What is the next “one and done” that you could do?
   The next task that is totally achievable by you, that can help set things in to motion.
   For example: if getting in shape is your goal, the one and done could be signing up for the gym, purchasing a theraband, subscribing to a YouTube channel that your friend recommended, or setting a reminder alarm, etc… it can be small!
   

3. What is the one smallest viable habit or routine change that you're going to prioritize?
   This is usually when people will say: “Definitely exercise! But I also want to eat better, and I really want to get back into my singing practice, and I really want to get better at responding to my friends' text messages and setting up dates.”
   
   Friend, I know it is excruciating to pick one, but when you prioritize and focus on one, you start to feel progress, forward momentum, and accomplishment, which then makes it easier to start to find momentum in others. 

   If you spend all your time deciding what to do, you spend none of your time doing anything.

   
   I think you know what small thing will make the biggest impact in your life right now.

4. Attach your one habit to your one organizing principle:

   “After I put my contacts in, I’ll do a 5-minute band workout.”
   

One decision, one task, one habit at a time, friends!

Your shit will never be fully together.
But we can bind it up a little…(that’s so gross, I’m so sorry haha)